Purse-O-Nality: What on earth are we carrying in these monstrous handbags?

A woman's mind is as complex as the contents of her handbag; even when you get to the bottom of it, there is ALWAYS something at the bottom to surprise you!
-- Billy Connelly

I have become fascinated with women’s handbags.

They seem to keep growing in size (and color) and are larger than at any time I can remember.

As a flaneur in Washington, DC I am in an out of bookstores, café’s, the boutiques and shops on 14th street, or Georgetown, Dupont Circle, the “P Street” Whole Foods, CVS, and even Logan Hardware. Increasingly, I see woman of all ages, sizes, and ethnicities carrying these enormously colorful and often complicated looking bags, with over-sized locks and shiny buckles and other whatnots attached and I keep asking myself, ‘what on earth does she have in that bag!?’ And often, there will be another bag in tow as well. Stop a moment and take a look – a majority of women, particularly on weekdays, are carrying at least two bags! It's spellbinding.

My curiosity became particularly acute when, earlier this summer, I was out and about strolling around the 14th street and U street area and I realized my long, shoulder-strapped, Lucky Brand saddle-bag was quite heavy--to the point of actually cutting into my shoulder. This can’t be good I thought. It's not as though I was on any particular mission, I’d just packed my handbag-- as per usual--and was my bouncy self out the door.

During my meandering, I stopped in to see my good friend Gustavo who owns Habitat, this funky-cool jewelry/handbag/decorative arts boutique in the U Street corridor. It’s always a treat to visit with him because he’s always bursting to chat on some provocative subject and well, also because he’s always wants to show off his latest handbags.

Gustavo carries a line of handbags that are pretty unique, in both large and small in sizes. I have bought the occasional handbag from him (with out all the bells and whistles because while I like color, I’m complicated enough without having to fight with a handbag to get to what's inside of it). In fact, it is perhaps as a result of my impromptu jaunts to Habitat that I have developed this curiousity concerning the contents of women's handbags.

Riddle Me This:

How is it that men require so little to move about this earth comfortably and we women, need so much stuff? What are these essential items we find it necessary to have on our person with us at all times that men can apparently do without?

What’s in the bags ladies?!

I had this discussion recently with a few women during a Happy Hour. One of the women (or was it me?) hung her bag on the arm/the neck of the chair and the chair immediately fell straight back. Well, naturally, if no one was sitting in the chair it would fall, because the handbag was something just short of a suitcase, and so here that question was once again rearing it’s funny face.

So I asked, “Darling, what are you carrying in that purse? A bag of sugar? It clearly must weigh about 10 lbs?!” Laughter erupted because I too was lugging something of a suitcase (that reminds me of a big yellow school bus) myself. A conversation then ensued about what we each felt were the essentials:

A wallet (of course), door/car keys, mobile phone – check, check, so far so good, reasonsable…I mean, men need these things too but they don’t require handbags to keep them on their person.

What else? Ok, make-up (a woman should at least never be without lipstick or lip balm of some sort, in my humble opinion) comb/brush (optional, men don’t carry them), Kleenex (maybe…men do often carry a hankerchief, which is smarter…I guess, even though it suffers through more than one use but in retrospect, it is “green” is it not?) A date/calendar book (optional now for those who do Blackberrys which, therefore, combines phone and calendar and also eliminates the need for an address book (another marvel of modern technology that is also dumbing us down – ever lost your phone? Have it go dead or some such thing and you suddenly discover you don’t know any phone numbers by heart anymore? Scary really).

A mirror or compact. Ok, but why do we need to look at ourselves so much? One could argue to apply lipstick, but that’s what restrooms are for and men manage to survive without them, (not that I have any intention of giving mine up, mind you). Gum, mints, (check, check). Sunglasses (check). Occassionally, an extra pair of shoes (especially if you’re a pedestrian). Food (for the movies? Or your lunch), a bottle of water (the jury is out on this, yet, still, men manage to function perfectly fine without these things).

Well after this, the list of items became more personalized or rather, customized. Me for example, I have this thing about journals, and books and I realized that I am obviously so addicted that the contents of my handbag increasingly reminds me of Doris Lessings “The Golden Notebook.” I might carry up to five journals/notebooks – plus reading material on any given day. A bit excessive, but I do feel I need them and a back-pack just isn't (fashionably) flexible enough. Ah yes, and writing instruments (check). Eye drops, pony-tail holders, miniature swiss army knife (CHECK!), hand lotion…the list could go on.

Another must have item for those ‘you-never-know-when’ moments is a small pocket-sized digital camera. I am sometimes spontaneous and love to catch life happening in the “NOW.” Still, it adds weight, but I’m not sure I am able part with this either, and while there is one built into my mobile phone (which apparently does everything now except answer itself) it’s just not quite the same thing.

This little ditty went on for a bit, women naming the various ‘must have’ items such as a “safety pin” which is optional to me, how often in a 12 month cycle is one in dire need of a safety pin? Think about it.

But the best, or at least funniest story came from a woman who recalled that she was with a male friend of hers once who was putting air in his car tire and said he wished he'd had a tire gauge. She flabbergasted him when she reached into her handbag and pulled out a tire guage – yes, indeed a tire guage. The table erupted into hysterical laughter (this was the moment when I knew I had to tell this story). She, herself, could not even recall how it got there it, perhaps some event some time back and well, after that I guess it just made itself right at home.

And then of course, there are those items that do not even belong to you. You know, those things that your husband or companion asks you to carry for them as long as you’re lugging that sack around.

I guess on a strictly symbolic level all this baggage could suggest we women are just much more complicated creatures than men (I doubt many men would disagree with that statement). That’s not necessarily a bad thing and I wouldn’t be surprised to learn of some ancient biological myth underpinning it.

I do strive, daily, to simplify, simplify, simply, to go minimalist and yet, when I dump it all out and restock, the same items keep finding themselves right back in there. Oh, and lest I forget, on occasion I too might be spotted carrying two bags myself. Yet, that one doesn’t count because it’s holding my MacBook.

So what is the answer, bag ladies?

Is it possible that we simply feel a need to fill up that space, “because it’s there?”